


el perdón (forgiveness)

by cloudburst



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, u know me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 05:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10938033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudburst/pseuds/cloudburst
Summary: Nothing like the love of your life being forced to sink a couple rounds in your stomach to bring the meaning of life to the forefront of your mind.





	el perdón (forgiveness)

**Author's Note:**

> ayy hello 
> 
> cw: guns and shooting

He'd never thought it would end this way—but then again, he'd never thought it would end at all. He's not sure if he's referring to his relationship with Scott Ryder, or to his life, as both seem viable to terminate any moment. For Scott is brandishing his Pathfinder issue pistol—has it pointed right at him. The hand with it in grips does not tremble; it does not waver. 

"Scott, we can work this out." Reyes does not allow his voice to shake, thought it is all he can do not to fall to his knees. 

The Angaran woman whispers to Scott in Shalesh. 

"No. We cannot." The tone is flat. And the voice is unmistakably Scott's. Reyes would know it anywhere—from behind him, beneath him, vidcoms, his dreams, and now, _his nightmares._

But this imposter does not sound like Scott. Scott would not say words of anger as if they were without a melody; they would not be flat. If he were angry, as this Angaran woman was trying to make him appear, Scott's words would be a grating violence of undulating tones. 

He recalls Scott's anger when he'd found out about a particularly risky smuggling venture he'd taken on; the payout had been incredible—and the risk, totally worth it. Ryder had turned his back for a moment when Reyes explained this, before facing him with fire in his eyes—burning suns pinning him in place. Scott had spoken, then, his voice crackling flame. _"I won't lose you to credits."_ And it was as simple as that. He would not lose Reyes to credits. 

As the Kadaran sun beats down upon them, Reyes thinks about how he knows the pistol at his waist better than almost anything—save himself and Scott. He also knows he cannot draw it; Scott will shoot. Reyes also knows that even if he is able to draw—he will not pull the trigger. He will not harm Scott Ryder, no matter who controls the man's mind. _I will lose this fight_ , Reyes realizes with a start. 

He thinks of all the instances that he has lost to Scott Ryder; there are many. Reyes recalls the feeling of Scott's arms wrapped around his waist from behind, chin tucked against his shoulder as they sit upright in bed. _"Don't go,"_ he'd whispered, lips skimming featherlight across his shoulder—his neck. Reyes gave in—would always give in to Scott Ryder. He had never pictured his death at Ryder's hands, though, if he had to be murdered in his prime he supposes there is no better person to carry out the act than the man who carries his heart. 

Reyes thinks the words—doesn't realize he's said them out loud till Scott's lips turn themselves up in an eerily mirthful grin. "What have I done to upset you?"

Reyes sees the Pathfinder's hand tighten its grip—knuckles white—stance unnatural. 

"The real question, I think, is what haven't you done? You've lied to me, so many times, Reyes. I'm through with you."

It hurts him; he knows they are not Scott's words, but he _has_ lied. Ryder trusts him with his whole self, but at times Reyes does not trust himself with Scott's belief. He wants to hold Scott, tell him he's sorry with his words and touch again, and again, and _again—_

"I love you, Scott."

Reyes Vidal feels that he should react as he watches Scott Ryder pull the trigger. He also feels that the bullets penetrating his abdomen are most definitely not good for his health. What he does not feel, is the weight of his body hitting the ground; he is too far gone for that. What he does not feel, is Scott crumpling next to him, gun falling from his hand as he allows distress to take over his features—relinquished from Roekaar control; he is too far gone for that, as well. 

If Scott were not the one shooting him, he believes that Ryder would be rather angry with him for putting himself in this situation. That is—after Reyes survived, if he survived. In this moment, he was highly aware of his own mortality. 

Nothing like the love of your life being forced to sink a couple rounds in your stomach to bring the meaning of life to the forefront of your mind. 

He feels light; the blood is leaving his body. He can fly to the Kadaran sun, if only this blood would leave him. _He can fly—_

* * *

As he comes to, Reyes realize he cannot fly; it's quite the opposite—limbs heavy, eyelids of lead. The only familiar thing is the weight of the arms across his thigh, what Reyes believes to be Scott leaned over the side of the sterile room's bed. 

It isn't until Dr. Lexi T'Perro is telling him of the potential dangers of re-opening his wounds that Reyes realizes he is in the Tempest's medbay. It isn't until Ryder sits up, and looks at him with wide eyes dazed by sleep and worry, that T'Perro leaves and Reyes remembers the feeling of fire exploding across his abdomen. It isn't until Ryder is choking on his own words that Reyes remembers: Scott had shot him.

Not by choice of course, Reyes realizes this. They all knew that Ryder was a victim of the Roekaar and their continued antics: this time hacking SAM to intercept the synapse's control of Ryder's neurons. It was very tricky of them; if SAM can aid the Pathfinder, why can't he harm him? The Roekaar discovered this discrepancy even without knowledge of the events that transpired on the Archon's ship—what seems like years ago. Reyes does not blame him, though he is not sure how to convince Scott of this. 

He will admit that he has seen Scott Ryder in tears before. It is not a sight he enjoys—as now there are inevitably silent, unshed tears waiting to burst with Scott himself. Ryder's voice cracks. "Reyes, I'm so sorry I can't—"

Reyes moves as much as he can, hand going to clasp Scott's. "It wasn't you."

Scott gapes at him, one of the tears escaping without his consent. The expression on his face is more agony than Reyes has ever felt. "You can't just—you can't just," Scott pauses, swallows. "Forgive this." 

Reyes shakes his head, trying not to laugh at Scott and re-open his wounds. Likely, then, the gunshots wouldn't kill him. Dr. T'Perro would—both of them. 

"I can, and I have."

"But—"

"You've forgiven me so many times. It wasn't you, Scott." Reyes offers him a reassuring smile. Scott Ryder is the sole recipient of that expression. "Now, kiss me."

Ryder leans in. 

"But don't kiss me too much like Scott Ryder would. We don't want Dr. T'Perro to have your head—especially when I've just gotten you back, yeah?"

Faces inches apart, Scott nods his relief. Their lips meet, and it's like he's home. 

They both are.

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know what u thank of this desolate work


End file.
